To Know Love
by hmweasley
Summary: Tom had always believed the Gaunt girl was someone to be pitied, not loved. In the blink of an eye, that changed. She was an angel. His angel. He gave up everything for her, and he didn't regret it. What they had was true love, whether his friends and family could understand it or not. When the world became fuzzy and confusing, she was the one who helped him make sense of it again.


**A/N: This was written for two challenges on two different forums: The first was the World Goth Day event on the Golden Snitch forum where I'm in house Mizu at Mahoutokoro. I was given the characters Tom Riddle Sr. or Abraxas Malfoy (I chose Tom) and had to write a Gothic story based on the lyrics:** **When you fell onto the ground I came to warm you — Rain by Project Pitchfork. I really hope this is Gothic enough. It was fun to do.**

 **Warning: This is about Merope and Tom Riddle Sr., so the story hinges on the use of a love potion, and I'd label the relationship as abusive because of that manipulation/control.**

 **To Know Love**

Tom took a deep breath, soaking in the warm summer air. In the two months since he'd finished school, he'd felt freer than he ever had in his life. He was lucky that his family's wealth had made it unnecessary for him to immediately find a job, and he'd taken to spending his days however he liked, basking in the glory of being entirely in control of himself after years of living under the thumbs of others.

Soon, he'd have his own place too, and he wouldn't have to worry about whether his parents approved of his comings and goings. He'd found a nice little cottage several villages over, far enough away to satisfy his independence. He'd only need to see his parents when he wanted to, and he still held enough teenage rebellion that he doubted he would ever want to.

There were things he'd miss about Little Hangleton, though, and he was trying to savour them on one of his last days in the town. The perfect weather only made everything more bittersweet. His friends kept urging him not to go. He was sure most of them would never leave Little Hangleton, but he was determined not to be among them. He'd start out close by, but one day, he was hoping for London.

Whistling to himself as he walked, he felt a bounce appear in his step.

Suddenly, a figure stepped right in his path, causing him to stumble.

"Woah," Tom said with a startled chuckle. "Watch where you're going."

Though he tried to keep his voice jovial, he had to work hard to keep away his disgust. It was the Gaunt girl who had intercepted him.

Her clothes were as filthy as always. Tom was sure she hadn't bathed in years, if ever. She looked up at him with wide eyes, and he wasn't entirely sure that she'd understood what he'd said. Her family was nearly wild, and he'd never heard her speak. Perhaps she'd never learned how.

"Excuse me," he said with a strained smile, trying to step around her.

She muttered something strange under her breath that sounded like gibberish. Tom was sure it was something she'd made up and had the brief thought to tell his friends that she really didn't speak English, but the thought was gone a second later, replaced with the sudden urgent need for a drink of water.

He coughed at the strange sensation burning his throat. It shouldn't have been possible to feel so parched out of nowhere.

Looking around desperately for signs of water, he realized that the girl was holding out a flask. He was too thirsty to think about the oddness of the gesture. He ripped the flask from her hands and drank the entire contents in one go.

The change was remarkable. Not only had the water satisfied his thirst, it was as if he was suddenly looking at the world with new eyes.

The girl was glowing. How had never never noticed it before? She gave him a hesitant smile, and Tom was sure she was an angel.

If she was mute, he must have been blind. There was no other explanation for the drastic change in her appearance.

"Are you okay?" she asked in a soft, squeaky voice.

It took several seconds for Tom to nod dumbly.

"Better than I've ever been."

He was going to have to make some new arrangements for his move. Now that he could finally see, he couldn't possibly leave the angel behind.

XXX

Several days later, they were decorating the cottage Tom had found. His parents had been furious when he'd informed them that Merope Gaunt was moving with him. They'd accused him of having a secret relationship, and when he'd been insistent that hadn't been the case, that he could never have hidden his love for someone so incredible, they had only been more incensed.

No one understood. His friends had been incredulous and then angry after he'd punched Henry for daring to laugh at the idea of Merope being beautiful. None of them were speaking to him anymore, but it didn't matter. He had Merope and their new cottage.

It was everything he had never thought to dream of.

He smiled at her as she moved about the cottage, making sure things were just so.

She'd taken to decorating the cottage with even more gusto than Tom. He was just happy to have her there, but she seemed to be thrilled at the chance of having a new home so unlike the miserable cottage her terrible family had forced her to live in her entire life. Tom was so happy he could provide her with this.

"Do you think the curtains should be blue or yellow, darling?"

He shook himself from his admiration to answer.

"Whichever you think is best, dear."

She smiled gently at him, and the curtains were suddenly a light yellow. She'd taken to bright colours unlike the deep greens and silvers of her family home. Tom felt that they suited her. Everything about their new life seemed to.

Unable to stop himself, he stepped behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist to relish the feel of having her close. There had been a number of girls before her, but not one of them had thrilled him like Merope. Everything about her close proximity left the cells in his body singing.

She was everything.

XXX

They had been living in the cottage for three weeks before Tom saw a neighbor. It was difficult anymore not to spend all of his time wrapped up in Merope. They had so much lost time to make up for. Never before had he been so grateful that he had no need to work. Despite how angry his parents were with the situation, they hadn't cut him off financially, perhaps worried what more trouble he'd get up to if he was entirely on his own.

He would wander to the nearest grocery store once a week to buy food, but other than that, he and Merope were too distracted with each other to do much of anything else.

Sometimes, though, real life had to intervene.

He was on his way back from doing the shopping, a bag of food in each hand. His eyes were firmly on the front door to the cottage now that it was in view. Every cell of his body was insistent on getting back to Merope as quickly as possible. He felt as if every second away from her made small parts of him die off, and he needed her to be rejuvenated.

The woman who emerged from the house next to theirs was only slightly older than they were. She had a kind face that was complemented by her bright smile, but nothing about her appearance could have competed with Merope. The woman looked plain and unremarkable in comparison, though Tom had an inkling that he'd have found her beautiful before he'd seen the light.

"Oh, hello."

The woman's voice was light and airy. It felt a little like listening to nails on a chalkboard. Tom struggled not to cringe as he smiled back.

"You must be one of the new neighbors," she said.

She'd reached him on the sidewalk and held out a hand for him to shake. Tom transferred all of his bags to one hand in order to take it. Her hand felt clammy in his, and he resisted the urge to wipe his palm against his jeans once he'd withdrawn.

"Yeah, we moved in a few weeks ago."

"Well, it's nice to finally meet you. We've been joking that recluses must have moved in. You're the talk of the neighborhood for being so mysterious."

Tom laughed.

"There's nothing mysterious about us," he said. "Forgive us both for not introducing ourselves to anyone. We've been enjoying living together."

"Newly married?" the woman asked with a bright smile.

"Unfortunately, no. Not yet at least. I imagine it won't be long."

The information didn't dim her smile, which Tom was thankful for. If he'd received the same judgement from her as he had his parents, they never would have gotten along.

"How nice," she said. "Young love. Welcome to the neighborhood. I look forward to meeting your girlfriend soon."

"Merope," he said, prompting another smile from the woman at the way he said her name. "She's incredible. You'll love her as soon as you meet her. No one alive can stand next to her without feeling inadequate. She's everything I could ever have hoped for and more. You really must meet her. I'm sure the two of you will be best friends. Would you like to come in now?"

The woman's smile had lessened as she listened to him speak, and at the offer, she offered a slight shake of her head.

"No, that's alright. I really must be getting to work. Perhaps another time."

"Oh, okay. Don't stay away too long, You'll regret it."

The woman gave him an odd look before hurrying down the street. Tom didn't stay to wave her goodbye as she drove off, once again focused on getting to Merope was soon as possible.

XXX

Tom huddled underneath the blankets. It was morning, but the house felt dark. Merope had left two days ago, saying she had important things to do, that she'd be back before he could miss her. He'd missed her instantly.

It had taken a day and a half for the weird attacks to begin. He'd been trying to distract himself from Merope's distance by cleaning the house, comforting himself with the thought that it would be perfect for her upon her return. She'd be so happy with him, and he loved when she was happy. It was the perfect way to spend his time alone.

But then the world had begun to spin. He hadn't been able to explain it at first. He'd thought perhaps he had stood too quickly, though he'd been sitting when it begun. Or perhaps it had been from the heat, though it was only April. There had to be an explanation. He just didn't know what it was.

The first time it had been a passing curiosity and he'd merely returned to his work. By the third time, he was becoming concerned and told himself that he'd ask Merope to escort him to the hospital as soon as she returned. He didn't want to go without her. What would she think when she returned and he wasn't there?

As the dizziness became constant, Tom laid down on the couch. Weird thoughts began entering his head. He thought of his family and friends, whom he hadn't seen in months. He missed them. Why hadn't he gone back to Little Hangleton even once? The logic of it all was evaporating.

He had never liked Merope Gaunt. She was an odd girl until he'd seen the light. What had the light been? They'd spent months together, almost never out of each other's company. She was rather unremarkable, he realized. She didn't know of any of the things he liked, and though he'd tried to teach her of them, she always grew disinterested. Much of their time together had been spent just basking in the glory of each other. That had felt wonderful at the time, but he hadn't gone for a drink at the pub in months, let alone cracked open a book.

It was so unlike himself. Somehow that hadn't occurred to him before. Now that it had, he felt like a stranger in his own body, like a parasite had somehow begun eating away at him.

He wanted it out. He had to get it out.

He needed a doctor. Immediately.

Merope had a stick, a wand. She'd called it as much a few times, telling Tom not to tell anyone with a small quirk of her lips. Of course he'd agreed. The magic was only more proof that she was an angel.

Or an abomination.

It had never occurred to him that the magic could have been used against him. He clutched at his stomach, willing what he was feeling to go away.

He stumbled for the front door, determined to get to a doctor. They wouldn't believe him. They'd think he'd gone mad. Perhaps he had. He couldn't tell anymore. Everything was a blur. It took him much longer than usual to find the front door, but he did find it.

Tugging it open, he stumbled into the dark. When had it become night time? He hadn't noticed.

There were so many things he hadn't noticed.

The neighbor was coming up the street. He'd only spoken to her once, but he felt a wave of ease at the sight of her. She wasn't part of the mess his mind had become. She could get him to a doctor.

She took one look at his dishevelled appearance and large grin and stiffened, but he couldn't allow himself to focus on her discomfort. There were more pressing matters.

"Please, where's the nearest hospital?"

She gaped at him for a moment before she seemed to get herself under control.

"Hospital? What's wrong?"

Looking him up and down for signs of physical ailment, she came up disappointed.

"It's my head," Tom stressed, pointing at his temple. "Everything is…"

He tilted side to side on purpose to demonstrate what it felt like and almost fell over in the process.

Just as the woman was about to speak, her eyes focused on something behind Tom and widened.

"Tom?"

A chill travelled down his spine.

"Tom? What's wrong?"

He came face to face with the angel. She still looked like the angel. He felt like perhaps she shouldn't have, but she very much did. She was beautiful. Still just as beautiful. He couldn't help but smile.

"He said he needs to go to a hospital," the neighbor said.

Tom cursed her inwardly, though perhaps he had brought it all on himself. He should have trusted Merope. She'd never given him a reason not to. She'd never been anything but completely and utterly perfect. Why had he been worried before?

She smiled sweetly at him, and he wondered why he'd ever thought that she could be a danger to him.

"Did he?"

She stepped forward to take Tom's hand in her own, smiling sweetly at the neighbor.

"Bless him. His medicine must be wearing off?"

"Medicine?" the neighbor asked with a raised eyebrow.

Merope hummed.

"It's nothing to be alarmed about. Everything is under control. Confusion is one of the side effects when it wears off. Come on, darling. We need to get you inside for your next dose."

He wasn't sure what she was talking about. He couldn't remember taking any medicine, but he nodded, following her. She knew what was wrong with him, and he could trust her. He didn't need a doctor after all; Merope had it under control.

Now that she was there again, in his presence, he only had eyes for Merope as she led him gently back up the path to the door. He didn't glance back at the concerned neighbor who watched them, brow furrowed, until a few minutes after they'd disappeared inside.

XXX

Merope had been right. The medicine made everything better. Within minutes of taking it, his head had cleared. He couldn't believe he had held any doubt about his feelings for Merope. Of course he loved her. How could he not? She was perfect. It was entirely logical to fall for someone who was an angel. He'd merely been blind to it before; the foolishness of adolescence might have been to blame. He'd been too caught up with what his friends might think or his preferences in women hadn't yet matured. Whatever it was, he saw the truth now, and the truth was Merope.

As she made them lunch the next day, Tom watched her work with a small smile on his face. He loved watching her do absolutely anything, and he needed to make up for the lost time of yesterday when she'd left him alone. It felt so good to have her back providing the clarity he needed.

A knock sounded on the door, startling Merope. She looked towards the front hall with wide eyes, knife still hovering over the fruit she'd been cutting.

"I'll get it," Tom offered with a reassuring smile.

He placed a light kiss on her cheek as he passed her, his stomach fluttering when it turned her frown into a smile. She let him go without a word, but she didn't return to her cooking as she watched him.

When he pulled the door open, it was to find Her standing on the other side with a dish gripped in her hands. Her lips were a thin line.

"Oh, hello."

She tried to smile at the greeting, but it was strained.

"Is your girlfriend home?" she asked, voice falsely light.

Tom wasn't sure what to make of the sour attitude. Perhaps she was jealous of what he and Merope had after having witnessed it for herself. He couldn't blame her. He felt truly sorry for the many, many people in the world who would never experience what they had. It sounded like a truly miserable existence.

"Of course," he replied.

He was about to add that she was in the kitchen when Merope appeared at his side, making the statement untrue.

"Hello."

Merope's voice was quiet but firm in a way that Tom couldn't quite make sense of. She appeared off put by the woman, and Tom wanted to ease her annoyance in any way possible. The woman's face had darkened even further as well, and Tom.

"I brought you some dinner," the woman said, holding out the dish. "Since I never properly welcomed you to the neighborhood, I thought it was the least I could do now."

Tom smiled at the gesture, taking the dish from her.

"Wonderful. I'm sure we'll enjoy it. Right, dear?"

Merope did her best to turn her scowl into a smile when he looked at her. He couldn't resist kissing her cheek again, and warmth blossomed in him when it caused her to giggle. It would have been so easy to lose himself in her, and he almost did until Merope's gaze focused on the woman again, reminding Tom that she was still standing there.

The woman glanced uneasily over her shoulder before seeming to find her resolve.

"I was hoping we could get to know each other better. Perhaps have some coffee?"

"Maybe another day."

The woman stiffened at Merope's quick response, but then gave a slight nod.

"Of course, I'll speak to you both later then."

She gave them one last inspection, gaze sweeping over them as if she were looking for something before she disappeared.

"Damn nosy neighbors," Merope muttered angrily as soon as the door was closed.

Tom stepped close, wrapping her in his arms. She smiled, but it was half hearted.

"Don't worry, darling. I'm sure she's just jealous of what we have. What else could cause her to be so surly on such a fine day?"

Merope chuckled darkly.

"I doubt she's jealous of us, Tom. Jealous of me perhaps for having someone as fine as you when you should never have set your eyes on someone like me."

Tom gasped.

"Never speak of yourself like that! I've told you before. You are perfect. My angel on earth. If I didn't notice it before it was only because I was a fool."

Merope's cheeks took on a red tint that looked divine on her. Tom loved every look she could show, and he had forgotten entirely about lunch when he stood there looking at her. The neighbor and her mysterious jealousy was quickly forgotten too as he pulled Merope close.

XXX

They didn't see Her for the next week, but Merope's melancholy didn't disappear. She was morose, and Tom tried everything he could think of to cure her of it. Nothing worked.

He was becoming increasingly desperate by the tenth day of it all. He lowered himself on his knees in front of where she sat, his hands gripping hers in her lap.

"Please," he begged, "tell me what I can do."

She smiled at him as tears made her eyes sparkle. Reaching out, she stroked his face as if it were precious. In that moment, Tom had trouble believing it was.

"There's nothing for you to do, darling, because nothing is your fault."

Perhaps the words were meant to comfort, but they only served to make him feel more desperate. If there was nothing he could do, then Merope would continue to feel sad with no end in sight. The thought of that was almost enough to send him into his own spiral of despair. He needed Merope to be okay.

"Tom."

Her voice called him back from his dark thoughts. He stared into her beautiful eyes, waiting for her next words. She continued to stroke his face, and the way she was watching him as if she was trying to commit him features to memory made him almost want to cry, though he couldn't quite figure out why.

"Will you always love me?"

Her voice broke, and Tom pushed himself up, moving to sit beside her on the sofa where he could hold her close. She sunk into his side, and Tom placed a kiss to the top of her head, running a hand up and down the length of her arm.

"Of course I'll always love you. Have I not told you that enough?"

He placed a finger under her chin and tilted her head upwards. Placing a kiss on her lips, he smiled.

"You are my everything, Merope. There is not a thing in this world that could lessen my love for you."

She still looked doubtful, and Tom wanted to banish whatever had made her feel so unsure of herself from the earth. Was it Her who had done this? If so, Tom wasn't sure he could be responsible for his actions the next time he saw her. No one should have been capable of making Merope doubt his love for her.

"I very much hope you're right," Merope said, voice unsteady.

She pulled away from him, and Tom's body ached as if it had lost a limb. His eyes followed her as she disappeared into the kitchen. Unsure if he should follow, he sat there, gradually inching forward in his seat. She appeared seconds before he would have risen with a phial in her hand.

"What is that?" Tom asked.

The phial was full of a shimmery liquid that looked somewhat similar to the medicine she'd given him before. But he didn't feel as if he needed medicine. He felt nothing like he had then. Perhaps it was for herself, to rid herself of the ridiculous notion that Tom could never not love her.

"Medicine," she replied, voice still shaking. "It's different from what you took before, love."

"Is it for me?"

She hesitated before nodding.

"But why?" Tom asked, unable to keep panic out of his voice. "I'm fine other than my distress for you. If anyone needs medicine, please take some for yourself, darling. That would cure every problem I currently possess."

She grimaced at him, and Tom felt as if he were missing something important. Try as he might, he couldn't figure out what that thing might have been.

"Trust me."

She pushed the phial into his hands, and Tom felt as if he had no choice but to down it in one go just as she had urged him to. If she doubted his love, he would do what was needed to provide proof that would comfort his angel.

The effects were as instantaneous as the previous medicine. Tom felt as if his head had cleared, but it was entirely different from before.

Merope changed before his eyes, becoming once again the unremarkable girl he had seen grow up in Little Hangleton. There was more colour in her cheeks, and her clothes possessed no holes, but she wasn't an angel.

It was like being doused in ice water. Tom began to shiver. Merope reached towards him, and he shrunk away, causing her to whimper. The sound made acid rise in his throat.

"What's going on?" he asked, voice sharper than he'd ever used with her.

"Tom, I'm pregnant."

The abruptness of the announcement startled him. It had nothing to do with his current fears, and it seemed like the worst possible time to reveal something so momentous. He inspected the girl from head to toe, analyzing her against the new clarity he felt.

"What did you do to me?"

"I love you," she cried. "You must believe that. I have never lied to you before. Never. But our child now resides in me. A child created through our love—"

"Shut up!"

Tom stood, enjoying the feeling of towering over her.

"What did you do to me?"

She still didn't answer the question as she whimpered, curling herself as tightly as she could. She looked so pathetic cowering like a dog might. Disgust clouded his vision. He had never loved her. It had been magic. He'd seen her do it before, hadn't he? Or had that all been as fake as the feelings he had been convinced were real?

It was impossible to distinguish fact from fiction. He clutched at his head.

Had Merope done this or was he mad?

Looking once more at the girl, who had buried her sobbing face in her hands, he was sure it had been Merope. Nothing else could explain his sudden clarity or the way she was so remorseful.

And she did appear remorseful.

It didn't make him want to forgive her.

"Stay away from me," he muttered, though she had made no move to come near him. "Stay away."

He began backing towards the door, and in her desperation she stood, voice shrill as she screamed.

"The baby! I'm pregnant, Tom. Our baby!" She pointed at her abdomen. "If nothing else, you must stay for the baby. Please, please, don't leave me alone. Don't leave our baby."

There was no child. He was certain of that. If there was, he didn't think he could stomach seeing it once it was born.

"If you are with child, then it isn't mine."

She collapsed onto the floor, and Tom wasted no time disappearing out the door, knowing he needed to get away as quickly as possible.

XXX

Outside, it was bright and sunny. Tom found himself laughing when he saw the sun. It was so ironic that after nearly a week of constant rain, he would find himself stumbling out from his home in the sunshine.

He made it to the sidewalk before he realized that he had no idea which way to go. Little Hangleton didn't feel like an option. He hadn't spoken to anyone there in months, had all but forcefully struck them from his life, which felt ridiculous now. Why hadn't he seen that before?

Anger filled him, and he wasn't sure if it was anger towards Merope or himself.

Trying to rack his brain for friends within this new village, he could come up with no one. The grocer had always been friendly, but Tom had hardly spoken to the man. He and Merope had never left the house much, let alone socialized with others.

Her.

Tom turned his head to face the house next door. She was the only neighbor he'd ever spoken to. She was friendly. And, he remembered her strange behavior from the previous week, she had been jealous of he and Merope's supposedly perfect relationship. Tom tried to remember how she had looked at him now that he was himself again.

It seemed he had been foolish before. She hadn't been jealous because of their relationship. How could she have been when their relationship had been disgusting all along. No, she had been jealous of Merope, just as Merope suggested. His wouldbe captor had said it herself: a girl like her should never have been with a guy like him.

Her smiles ran through Tom's mind. Yes, of course. She was in love with him. It made complete sense now that he was no longer under Merope's control.

She had been attractive. He could see that now. Merope had made him stumble but he could see the light once more. She was light; she could provide the warmth that had been missing in the little time he'd been out from under Merope's spell. The warmth he so longed to feel once again. Furthermore, she was all he had. He walked towards her front door with purpose, feeling consumed with feelings of affection for her. True affection. It was so unlike what he had felt while under Merope's spell.

This was real, genuine. He could feel it inside of himself. It had been so long since he had felt genuine love for anyone, and he felt like he might be burnt alive by it. He had to get to Her. He had to confess his feelings, tell her that she had been right about Merope being unworthy. He could see it now.

It didn't take long for Her to answer the door, and Tom let out a content sigh at the sight.

Looking her up and down, he wasn't disappointed by what he saw. Merope's spell had truly blinded him to reality. She was gorgeous, a feast for the eyes set in front of a starving man. He needed her. Desperately.

Something in his expression led her to take several steps back and inch the door between them again. Panicking at the thought of her disappearing, Tom stepped forward, only freezing when he noticed that it made her shrink even further back.

"I'm free," he said joyously, causing her eyes to widen. He laughed. "You knew something was wrong. Surely. A man like me with that beast. She was truly a beast, but I'm free. She enchanted me, tried to tie me to her, but she couldn't do it forever. Now I'm free."

She didn't give him a response. She merely stood in the doorway, staring at him as if she couldn't believe her eyes. He couldn't blame her for being mesmerized. She had perhaps thought that her feelings for him could never be returned. It had to be a shock to see him so well.

"I'm myself once again. Don't you see? We can be together."

He could hardly see her through the crack in the door, and that protection seemed to be enough to encourage her to speak.

"I have no idea what you're on about."

He laughed once more. She really hadn't believed it was possible.

"Us. We can be together now. I've escaped Merope."

"Please leave," she said quietly. "I don't know what you want, but I don't have your medicine. Go back to your girlfriend. Or the hospital. I don't know, but I can't help you. I don't have what you need."

Merope had gotten to her too. Of course she had. She had seen the way She looked at Tom. Merope wouldn't have stood for it.

"What spell has she put you under?" Tom asked, suddenly sober.

"Please leave," she pleaded, tears now coming to her eyes. "Please, I want no part in this."

"What has she done?"

"No one has done anything to me except you."

The words shocked him, making him take several steps back.

"Please leave. Please. If you don't, I'll call my husband. It would only take him a few minutes to get here."

Husband. She had a husband. Tom cursed Merope. That had certainly been her doing. She had worked so hard to keep Tom from real love. He wouldn't let her win.

"But I love you."

He put all of the emotion he felt into his voice. It didn't prompt her to open the door.

"You don't know me."

"Yes, of course I—"

"What's my name?"

Tom froze. Surely he knew her name. He must have. He wracked his brain, coming up with knowing, he stumbled back from the door, staring at her in alarm.

"Go away. Please."

She shut the door with a click that might as well have been a gun firing straight at his heart.

Tom stumbled down the path, back to the sidewalk, unable to really see his surroundings. He gripped at his head, willing everything to make sense. He kept stumbling away with no direction. Wherever he ended up didn't matter. Nothing did. Nothing made sense.

He let out a choked sob, certain he would never know love again.


End file.
